Sunday thoughts about... mental health

Here's a personal account of a Vegas Golden Knights fan who's had his fair share of struggles.

Ottawa Senators v Vegas Golden Knights
Ottawa Senators v Vegas Golden Knights | Ethan Miller/GettyImages

Mental health is often a touchy subject for many. Vegas Golden Knights fans like myself have dealt with the wear-and-tear effects of daily life. Combine that with your team not winning every night and it takes a toll on you. Luckily, the Golden Knights don't have that problem, for they're the anti-Las Vegas Raiders.

But it hasn't been the case for former Golden Knights goaltender, Robin Lehner. The Swedish native has fought numerous battles throughout his life, ranging from bipolar disorder to bankruptcy. A mounting number of battles has weighed on the former NHL netminder, leaving him on the brink of devastation.

On a personal level, I can relate to Lehner in many ways. For one, I've had my fair share of mental health struggles throughout my life. This includes depression and suicidal thoughts, where I wanted to take my own life.

While readers on the blog see someone with a quirky personality (that sometimes takes things over the edge), life hasn't been the easiest in my own right. So what can you do to take care of yourself? Who can you turn to when times get rough? Understand that it's okay to not feel okay, for life can bring the toughest challenges to our doorstep (WARNING: Some details are graphic).

My personal story of depression

When I was 14 years old and in the eighth grade, I was living a good life. I was excited to play in the upcoming football season for my middle school team, the Romeo Bulldogs. I just got back from a summer camp to hone my skills and develop myself as an athlete. Plus, I had A's and B's in my classes.

But something dark happened to me in August 2004. I started having suicidal thoughts.

"What was my purpose in life?"

"Is there any meaning to my existence?"

Part of this was feeling inadequate towards my fellow teammates. I was one of the slowest players on the team, clocking a 40-yard dash of 5.70 seconds. I also stood at 108 lbs., soaking wet. What use would there be for a backup safety who moved like a senior citizen?

These thoughts haunted me after school every day. I would get off the school bus every day and grab the sharpest kitchen knife I could find. There, I would stand with the knife toward my chest, contemplating about putting it through my heart. As a result of my intrusive thoughts, I quit the football team and my grades suffered.

That led to my mother recommending a therapist to talk about my deepest insecurities and problems. That way, I could get on the fast track to being myself again and living life.

Reaching out to friends and family

Unfortunately, not everyone has access to such resources. My friend, Marc, worked with me at Mcdonald's while I was going to college. He was one of the most laid-back people around. We always joked about an elderly gentleman who wanted his pancakes just right. Otherwise, "he'd throw 'em like frisbees." We'd call him, "Frisbee Man."

Sadly, he ended his life in his 30s. He had his own struggles, ranging from dating woes to insecurities in his job. The loss hurt because he never showed any signs he was hurting.

With that, I want Robin Lehner to know this. You are beloved by the Vegas Golden Knights fanbase. We want what's best for you, especially since many of us have been in your position. We know you've faced an endless array of struggles and believe you can fight through this.

If you or anyone you know are struggling with mental health or are having suicidal thoughts, please call 988. This is the Suicide and Crisis hotline and is free to use 24 hours a day. Remember that it's okay to share your feelings if you're unwell.

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