You know, I love grocery shopping. I can see what food I'm preparing for the week as I get ready for more Vegas Golden Knights hockey.
Will I make chili this week? What about a personal pizza for my troubles? The possibilities are endless!
But as we whet our appetites thinking about what we'll cook for the upcoming week, it's also time to look at the divisional rivals and see which teams resemble which foods. Yes, I know the concept sounds bizarre. However, I need you to hear me out for a second.
If there's one thing Americans do, it's eat. We love our food like we love our freedom. So why not combine the two loves and make something of it!
Be sure to grab some napkins and water with you because it's time for a new set of power rankings. It's time for dinner and the Golden Knights are serving some piping-hot dishes today!
1.) Vegas Golden Knights (Buffalo wings)
It's simple, yet delicious. It's a hit across the Las Vegas strip (and in Jack Eichel's old stomping grounds). It even comes with ranch or bleu cheese and celery. It's the Buffalo wings.
Currently, the Golden Knights' offense is as spicy as some Buffalo wings. Jack Eichel leads the NHL in points (11), Pavel Dorofeyev was tied for the lead in goals (6), and Mark Stone leads the NHL in assists (9), with all stats entering Saturday. Bring some napkins and water because the Golden Knights will whet your appetite.
2.) Edmonton Oilers (poutine)
Look, I know many of you want to see the Oilers get spotted dick for their food. After all, they're Vegas's biggest rival at the moment. However, you can't deny that Leon Draisaitl and Connor McDavid are great.
However! Stuart Skinner has also been good. He has a GAA of 1.97 and a save percentage of .921 in three games to start (entering Saturday, of course). While he'll likely regress towards the mean, he's picked up the slack while Draisaitl and McDavid warm up. Plus, poutine's a delicious Canadian food.
3.) Vancouver Canucks (carne asada burrito)
The Canucks have all the scoring options in the world, making them a dangerous team. Combine that with Thatcher Demko pairing with Kevin Lankinen and this team is underrated.
It helps to have Quinn Hughes on your roster, too. The petite defenseman looks to build off his impressive 2024-25 campaign, where he scored 16 goals and 60 assists. Watch for him since his play has a kick like the carne asada.
4.) Seattle Kraken (McRib)
The Seattle Mariners are the hot item in the Pacific Northwest right now. However, the Kraken might also make a run. After all, they don't have a regulation loss like the Golden Knights entering Saturday.
But the question is if the team has staying power. Will the Kraken disappear like the McRib? Or will they become a regular menu item?
5.) Anaheim Ducks (Greek yogurt)
Some people might not like Greek yogurt since there are numerous problems with it. The texture, consistency, and the taste might throw people off. However, the Ducks are healthy and pack a protein-based punch.
Chris Kreider already leads the team in goals (four) and Beckett Sennecke (two goals and two assists) isn't bad, either. Anaheim will be a team to watch throughout the season, specifically if their scoring has some protein.
6) Los Angeles Kings (Dodger dog)
Is this the same Los Angeles Kings team that defeated the Vegas Golden Knights in the season opener? Sadly, it's not. With a roster that currently passes through you like a Dodger dog and leaves you on the toilet, the Kings are struggling.
Losing Corey Perry is one thing. But losing Anze Kopitar on a week-to-week basis with a foot injury? Now that's trouble. Better grab some Gas-X, Kings fans.
7.) Calgary Flames (Rocky Mountain oysters)
Like, does anybody like these things? Do they even think about Rocky Mountain oysters? That's the same thing with the Calgary Flames, who are 1-4-0 entering Saturday's game against the Golden Knights.
Would you try a Rocky Mountain oyster?
8.) San Jose Sharks (jellied eels)
I know the Sharks are going through a rebuild right now. But being the only NHL team without a win? That's as appetizing as munching on gross seafood.
While San Jose has a bright future ahead, the present just feels nasty. Get your waste baskets ready.