You're a mean one, Mister Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel, Mister Grinch
You're a bad banana with a greasy, black peel.
You're a monster, Mister Grinch
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul, Mister Grinch
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole.
You're a vile one, Mister Grinch
You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile, Mister Grinch
Given a choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile.
You're a foul one, Mister Grinch
You're a nasty wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk, Mister Grinch
The three words that best describe you are as follows
And I quote
"Stink, stank, stunk."
You're a rotter, Mister Grinch
You're the king of sinful sots
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched
With moldy purple spots, Mister Grinch
Your soul is an appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment
Of deplorable rubbish imaginable
Mangled up in tangled up knots.
You nauseate me, Mister Grinch
With a nauseous super "naus"
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss, Mister Grinch
You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce.
Those iconic lyrics have stirred through the memories of everyone for Christmas. That includes Vegas Golden Knights fans, who've dealt with their fair share of crooked jerky jockeys. Take your pick among the rival Oilers fans and antagonistic Kings fans who've amounted to a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich... with arsenic sauce.
So, let's play a little game, dear reader. Let's look at the four Grinches of Golden Knights history. These kings of sinful sots have rotten tomatoes for hearts, annoying the fans with either their production or mere presence.
1.) Evander Kane
From blowing kisses to picking fights, Evander Kane has been an absolute bane of the Golden Knights' existence. Sure, the all-time stats might be unimpressive (five goals and seven assists in 24 career games against the Golden Knights). But Golden Knights fans won't forget his antagonistic nature during his San Jose Sharks and Edmonton Oilers days.
Poor man has garlic in his soul and spiders in his brain.
2.) Jamie Benn
Remember when Jamie Benn cross-checked Mark Stone in Game 3 of the 2023 Western Conference Final? That drew so much ire from Golden Knights fans that they literally were putting hits out for the Dallas Stars forward.
Golden Knights fans haven't forgotten that play, reminding them of the evil play that the Stars forward committed. You can say that he...
Stinks...
Stanks...
Stunks!!
3.) Leon Draisaitl
Obviously, there are the career statistics that stand out for the Oilers superstar. He's scored 13 goals and 20 assists in 27 career games against Vegas, making him a pain in the arse. However, he's also had some nefarious plays to his name.
On Sunday, Draisaitl was called for a slash on Tomas Hertl that was intentional. He got away with murder by not getting suspended and Edmonton staved off the comeback, 4-3. Still, the German native continues to be a mean one to the Golden Knights.
4.) Nathan MacKinnon
You're a mean one, Mr. MacKinnon...
You really are a heel...
And you don't care how the fans feel...
Mr. MacKinnon!
With your grating personality and 27 points (seven goals and 20 assists) in 29 games, I wouldn't touch you...
...With a nine-and-a-half foot pole!!!